‘I have to get the kids in a few hours and i need to be ready to go when this thing is done charging. Tik tok b!tch, tik tok welcome to motherhood. “Patiently waiting” me is checking to see if the light has stopped blinking every 10 minutes like a crackhead waiting for his dealer.
After only and hour and a half, solid pink light.
‘I played with the settings on my hand to test this fine machinery out.The vibration for the g spot part is quite strong, i was impressed with with that even before use.
‘Next was suction. So many levels it was interesting to see the different patterns and strength. There are 10 levels for clitoral and 10 patterns for g spot.I’ve never used a clit suction type stimulator, so i have nothing to compare it to, but looked forward to it none the less.
Time to solo party.
I found placement for the clit a bit low for my body shape, it took me a few min to get everything where it needed to be. That was a bit time consuming and slightly frustrating.
‘But as with any new toy, its trial and error. I started the clit one on low, which i barely even felt. Unbeknownst to me it wasn’t lined up 100% ,So, me being me, i decide to go from zero to 60 in 3.5.
‘I hit the suction button setting to level 5 or 6 and hit the g spot button as well. And made a minor adjustment on suction placement.At least i think that’s what happened, Because I’m pretty sure i blacked out,
My legs went straight out like those goats who faint when scared.
‘I never came so fast and so hard in my life. I squirted, i have NEVER DONE THAT. (Luckily i put a towel down cause i hate wet spots)
I frantically tried to turn it off, but ended up hitting the buttons like a maniac, sending to even stronger suction and now variant pulses from the g spot vibrator. And came, again. Im pretty sure i levitated. It was an unending orgasm.
‘This time, my soul left me, and god himself said “child, it is not your time, go back to the lil pink light.” (Mind you, im agnostic.)
‘I’m brought back into my earthly body after managing to pull it off me throwing it across my bed, it falls to the floor, still buzzing happily away.
‘I shook for a good 5 minutes, i couldn’t get up off the bed if even wanted to. I stared at my ceiling dazed trying to remember who i am and what year is this. I get up to clean up and realize in my seizure like orgasms, i hurt my hip and back. Im still hobbling 4 hours later I did not stretch enough.
So in conclusion, this met and exceeded expectations. Hydrate, make sure you don’t have to do anything that involves decisions or brainpower for the rest of the day. And for the love of god, stretch like you are about to run the 500 meter dash.’
Read more: https://metro.co.uk/2019/07/01/vibrator-funniest-review-amazon-10095225/?ito=cbshare
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